Much of what you wrote is not true in most of the US. 911 in the US will respond to a call from anywhere, even a cell phone or someone on a work line. Just Google search for news on people that have motion detecting cameras at home. There are several reputable news reports of people who called police from work while watching the video feed and relayed what they were seeing to the 911 operator who relayed that to the officers responding.
There are even news reports from NBC about people calling police when their self monitored alarms go off. The catch is a person can be fined for too many false alarm calls. You just need to register your alarm with the city and they give you 2 false calls before they fine you. Same deal as when you have a monitored alarm. Alarm companies need to register with cities so they can speak on behalf of the home owner. Not a problem if you are the owner calling directly.
I’ve called for a vacation home in another state and they caught the teens who broke in. I am telling people to do a simple google search for reputable news stories because those can be verified. Unlike the BS these alarm companies are writing in the comments.
There is an audible alarm in the iris although its not loud. So the scenario of not knowing if there is a break in is not accurate. Also iris can notify up to 6 people so the kids and wife can get the alert too.
I’m not sold on iris but I do believe DIY alarms are easy to install for most people at a fraction of the cost of professional alarms with the same level of security. Iris and Scout are good examples.